Double Trouble
by Revenge4Love
Summary: Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find o
1. Family affairs

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG, I guess. I might change it later.

**Paring: **None yet.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing, or my soul for that matter.

**A/N** This is my second Hellsing fic. I set it out differently. YAY! Try not to flame too much, I know I'm a terrible writer. The twins live in Australia, because I live there. Ack no crocodiles! This is set somewhere near the end of the second manga. The manga is my preference, but I've only read three of the books, because I'm not sure when the fourth comes out. Plus I'm not supposed to have anymore manga until next year.

**Dedication: **This is dedicated to Multi colour and Naruko, who are fun to quote .

Chapter one: Family affairs

Integra paced her office. Walter had told her, he had found out something interesting and she was waiting for him to return with her tea. The door opened and he came in holding the usual tea tray.

"What is it that was important to tell me, Walter?" she asked.

Walter set the tray down on a part of her desk that wasn't covered in paper. "I have found out that their may be an heir for Hellsing," he said calmly.

"What? Who? I don't have any cousins or relatives younger than me," Integra said, quite interested.

"I have searched files and it seems that your grandfather had an affair while still married. They had a child, which grew up to be Amber Spector, she has two girls; Angela and Lilly. Both of them have just turned 15 and could easily be the next head of Hellsing later," he said.

Integra smiled, "Good that found this information, Walter. Otherwise Alucard would be free after my demise" she said softly.

Walter smiled and said, "I have invited both of the girls here, for their summer holidays." Integra opened her mouth, but Walter reassured her by saying "I took the liberty of discussing this with Alucard and he won't try anything".

"Lets hope he won't," Integra said and sat down to do some more paperwork.

(Meantime somewhere in Australia) 

Amber and Angela were piling clothes into a cart, at record speed and Lilly just watched, nodding her head in time to the beat of her CD.

Angela pulled a top on to see how it looked "Oh my god mum. This is such a good top. Can I get it?" She watched herself in the mirror, spinning around to show how good the top went with her mini skirt.

Her mother smiled "Sure darling, but you only get a small amount of things to bring there. Anyway you'll need a new skirt".

"Thanks mum, I appreciate this..... unlike some people," Angela answered glaring at Lilly.

Lilly hearing something talking to her, she took out her headphones. "What?" she asked.

Angela waved her hand, "Forget it!"

Amber turned her attention to Lilly, while she wasn't listening to a hardcore guitar solo on her CD player. "Darling, aren't you going to buy something?"

Lilly grabbed the nearest black item and gave it to her mother, "I'll have this, whatever".

"Actually I'll get one, I wonder if they have it in pink?" Amber started.

Lilly put her headphones back on "Actually I have enough clothes. I'm going to go..... now"

"Heres fifty dollars buy yourself something nice," Amber said handing the money to Lilly, not knowing that Lilly would spend it on cigarettes and manga. Lilly said nothing and walked out of the store. Her headphones playing a guitar solo.

(Back in England) 

"Walter?" Integra asked over the phone.

"Yes?" came his reply.

"When exactly are Angela's and Lilly's summer holidays?" she asked.

There was a pause and a scuffle of papers. "Five days I believe," he finally replied.

Integra looked at her calendar and noticed nothing but paperwork for the next month "And how long are they staying?"

"Two weeks," Walter answered.

Integra sighed, "Thats all I needed to know". She said, feeling a familiar presence in the room. "You'd better not try anything".

**A/N **so what do you think of the start? Is it good... or did it suck? I've been discussing this fic with my psychos a lot now days.


	2. Day one

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG, I guess. I might change it later.

**Paring: **None yet.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing, but I do own Angela, I don't own Lilly though, she's property of the devil.

**A/N **This is the second chapter of my Hellsing fiction. Interesting, ne? I like my other story, my psychos helped with that one too. I've gotta read Dracula before I write more. I'm not sure why, but I feel that it would do good for the storyline. What else have I got to say? Oh yeah. I'VE GOT MY OWN COMPUTER! Now I can download hentai in my room. w00t!

**Dedication: **This story is dedicated to Naruko and Multi colour. They've helped me with parts of this storyline and some of the later to come humour. Lilly is a mix of them both, plus me, for the evilness. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chapter two: Day one

Angela stared out the window of the car watching as the sun set, wondering what they would be doing here for the next two weeks. She gazed at the beauty of the sunset and then to her sister, who wasn't paying her much attention as her eyes scoured her manga book. Angela sighed and nudged her sister.

Lilly jolted back to reality and glared at her twin, "Hey what was that for," Angela sighed and pointed her thumb at the sunset. Lilly glanced at it and winced. "You honestly think I care." She commented dryly and went back to reading her manga.

Angela crossed her arms and flipped her hair, "Oh my god, I'd like think you'd like a sunset. I mean it's like mysterious and shit," Lilly didn't answer as she glanced at her manga.

The car came to a halt and the girls both glanced at their driver. He turned and smiled, "Welcome to Hellsing," he said as he got out. Lilly put her manga into her bag and slid out, followed by Angela. The two girls glanced upwards at the building that loomed over them. Both of them uttered words of awe as they glanced at the huge mansion.

Walter was waiting for them at the front gate. He watched as the girls slid out of the car. He was amazed at how much both of them looked like Sir Integra. They had the same hair and same eyes, though their clothing was different. Angela wore a long sleeved furry pink top, with a white mini skirt and plain sandals, with a small heel. Lilly on the other hand wore a black corset, which went well with her long skirt that was greeted by her knee high lace up boots.

Lilly and Angela glanced at their driver before walking up to Walter, who smiled. "Hello, you two must be Angela and Lilly. Right then, come this way," he said and led them inside. The twins followed Walter, gapping in awe at the truly marvellous mansion.

Lilly glanced at the basement steps and whispered to her sister in her mysterious, "I bet you they have a dungeon," she followed the whisper with an evil laugh. Angela flipped her hair and chose to ignore Lilly.

Walter led them up a flight of steps and to a door, "Right then. We shall have to discuss some things with Sir Integra, like the fact that you lost your luggage". Walter knocked and walked in to see Integra doing paperwork.

Integra glanced up and saw the twins. "Hello, you two must be Angela and Lilly. Walter has already told me that you two have lost luggage and today you can go shopping for new things. Seras will arrive shortly to take you there".

Angela smiled, "Thank you very much". She nudged her sister who was staring at a part of the office.

Lilly was shoved out of her staring competition with the strange red eye, in the mirror, by Angela, "What?"

Angela rolled her eyes, "You're supposed to say thank you".

Lilly hesitated and then said, "Thank you. One question though; where did that weird red eye thingy that was in your mirror-" A knock on the door halted Lilly's question.

Integra tried her best to pretend nothing was wrong, "That would be Seras.... or Alucard" she said, with annoyance.

A voice came from behind the door, "Can we come in?" Walter opened the door to reveal the so called Police girl and No Life King. Integra mentally noted that this was on of the first time she had seen Alucard use a door. Alucard was grinning as usual and Seras was semi smiling as she didn't want to reveal her fangs, though the girls had been told about the two midians.

Walter and Integra glanced at each other, "Seras, you can take them shopping now, the driver has my credit card and he knows where to go" Integra said and gave a warning glance to Alucard. Angela smiled and nodded. Then both twins walked out accompanied by the vampires.

Outside Integra office Lilly turned to Seras, "So you're Seras right?" Lilly asked the smiling vampire, who nodded and grinned, because Lilly didn't seem the type to frightened of vampires. "Can I call you vampire Barbie?" Lilly giggled and her twin hit her herself in the head with the palm of her hand.

Alucard glanced at Seras, "Interesting, you do look like Barbie".

Seras glared at her master and then Lilly, "I do not!"

Lilly and Alucard grinned, like the Chestire cat, "Yes you do. If you add one and one together you get, two, window or Vampire Barbie. You shouldn't be ashamed, a lot of thought and effort was put into your new nickname," Lilly said, hiding her laughter behind one hand.

Angela grimaced, "Just great, I'm going to be stuck with the weird Lilly instead of the evil one," Seras glanced at Angela who explained, "Lilly is either a gothy annoyed chick or a weird animated chick. The goth Lilly is easier to handle".

Lilly giggled, "Yeah and nicknamed Gothika!" she yelled, laughing. They reached the front door and got into the car, Lilly looked upset that Alucard wasn't coming and the other two girls were chatting away about girly things.

(Later)

The twins and Seras climbed out of the car, holding shopping bags. Lilly looked exhausted and annoyed, while the others grinned. They walked up to the front of the house and waited for Walter, who came a few seconds later.

He smiled as he greeted them, "So how was shopping?" he asked.

"Mortifying, ack no shops!" answered Lilly, oddly hyperactively. Angela and the newly nicknamed Vampire Barbie cringed.

Angela flipped her hair, "Honestly Lilly, it's wasn't that bad. You're just a tomboy. I mean like come on, what type of chick doesn't like shopping. I mean like it's like finding clothes and like stuff".

Lilly giggled, "Tomboy? Ha! I'm the biggest skank you'll ever know!" then glancing at Walter Lilly put her hand behind her neck and giggled, "I really shouldn't have said that".

Walter gave Lilly an estranged glance and said "I'd better get you two rooms. Follow me". He led them both to their rooms, which were identical, and yet different, like the twins themselves.

(Meanwhile in Angela's room)

Angela admired the quiet of night. Her sister had never let quiet set into their house, as she stayed up all night, reading manga, listening to grunge metal and watching the TV all at the same time. After looking at her room, Angela decided to finally sleep. I was already 11AM and late for Angela. A creak was heard outside Angela's door, but she chose to ignore it. Which was a bad idea.

Lilly opened the door, "The mail's here!" she shouted to her twin. Angela pulled the covers over herself and tried to ignore the weird Lilly, who was now jumping on her bed shrieking, "The mail's here!" Angela stood up and prepared to chase her twin, but fell asleep as her sister laughed.

(Later in Sir Integra's room)

The lady of the house had finally finished all the paperwork for one night. It was hard for the sounds coming for Angela's room. But she guessed the teen would be having a bad dream. She was asleep, in her sleep though, she muttered, "The mail's here" over and over again. Strange how Angela was doing the same thing, in her sleep.

**A/N **Well this sorta goes kinda nowhere. But it's ok, I guess. My new computer didn't have FrontPage at first but I installed it. It is actually possible for someone to listen to music, while watching TV and reading manga, I do it all the time. But I get yelled. ::gonk:: Damn it's like nearly midnight here. Well I'm of to talk to vampires, cya!


	3. Manga

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG, I guess. I might change it later.

**Paring: **I dunno, who do you think?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing or Seven of Seven, because I can't draw :( I don't own Leonard and Jack either, they belong to Pip. Bloody hell, why does the fanfic writer own nothing and two made up character are owned by Pip, that's democracy for ya! I don't own the comic, its original manga-ka is Seps.

**A/N **Wow, third chapter.... Interesting. I bought the best thing today. Not the fourth Hellsing manga that I desperately need, but a Marilyn Manson CD. w00t! Yes!!!! I've been antagonizing my folks to buy it for me. But they refused, so I bought it myself. Note to self: must kill parents, unless they buy me more stuff.

**Dedication: **This story is dedicated to Naruko and Multi colour. The part with Lilly and Alucard is based to what Naruko yelled about my drawings.

Chapter three: Manga

Angela awoke in the huge four poster bed that was in her room, watching the sun drift lazily into the room. She wondered where she was until she saw the shopping bag and remembered the whole trip to England. Checking her watch she noticed that she had woken up later than usual. She took a shower and got dressed.

Walter knocked on the door, "Miss Angela, would you like some breakfast? I have already asked your sister and she's still asleep". He called through her door. Angela smiled and opened the door. Walter handed her a breakfast tray and said, "What time did Lilly go to bed?"

Angel hearing the concern in his voice answered, "Don't worry this is natural for her. She stays up all night and sleeps during the day. You'll get used to it.". Angela put the tray on her bed and began eating.

Walter smiled and said, "And I would also like to say thank you. On Seras behalf. She's been feeling out of place here, but you two seem like good friends now". Angela smiled and nodded. She liked Seras, though at first it was a little uncomfortable talking to someone with fangs and red eyes. Walter nodded and left. Smiling after him Angela finished her food and decided that it was to early to talk with Seras so she would see if she could do something with Lilly's stuff.

Angela walked out of her room and gently opened the door to her sisters, "Fluffy things, ack help all around me!" squealed Lilly in her sleep, Angela hid her laughter behind a hand and tip toed into the room. A book caught her eye and she took it. It was a manga called Seven of Seven and Angela quickly retreated to her room with it.

(Later)

Angela studied the pictures, "This doesn't make sense," she said glancing at the manga, "Why is this chick upside and the other chick looks like her. Why are there seven of these chicks? What type of stupid comic is this, it should be rated R!" Disgusted, Angela threw the book in the bin. The doorknob to Angela's room turned with the creak of the door, the knife glided out. Angela watched horrified as the hand holding the knife showed, it was feminine.

Angela squeaked in fear and the door burst open, "FOOLED YA!" Yelled Lilly, looking crazy with a knife in hand. Angela winced and threw a pillow at her twin. Lilly dodged the pillow, "That was fun, I'll have to try it again, sometime. I can't believe I didn't think of something like this sooner". Lilly grinned and ran outside, dodging another pillow.

Angela glared after the maniacal sounds of Lilly's laugh, "Bloody hell" she looked out the window to find out that the sun had gone down, this cheered her up, "Yay, I can go visit Seras now" and with that she walked out of her room and into the underground sector of the manor.

(Meanwhile)

Lilly walked outside the manor, where the troops were training. Smiling at the mischief she could cause Lilly approached Pip. "Can I show you a magic trick?" she asked innocently, with a big smile.

Everyone had now turned to glance at them, Pip shrugged, "I guess"

Lilly's smile grew, "I'll need a five dollar note".

Pip took out a wallet and rummaged through it, "Sorry I only have a fifty".

Lilly smiled, "Don't worry that's good". She smiled and took the money from Pip as the mercenaries watched, "Now your money here, now you money disappear. Later," Lilly finished and started to run.

Pip glanced at her, "Shit! I owed Leonardo money".

Leonardo swore as well, "I owed Jack money".

Jack spoke up, "Any one here who doesn't owe anyone money?" No hands were raised and no voices spoken. "She stole our cash!"

Pip swore, "Then what are we waiting here for, lets get that money back!" and with that, the Wild Geese ran after the small retreating figure of Lilly who had reached the inside doors.

Lilly ran inside, her speed increasing as she jumped down the stairs of the dungeon, she ran into a random room and shut the door behind herself, "Safe at last" she said, puffing.

"What did you do this time, Lilly?" a voice snapped at her. Angela and Seras were sitting on top of a coffin and reading girl magazines. Lilly burst out laughing as they heard the Wild Geese race down the stairs.

The shadows on the wall joined together and formed a solid shape; Alucard, "Honestly Seras, should you sink so low as to play with humans".

Lilly laughed harder, he hands over her stomach, "That's a good one. But if she was playing with them she'd be out there, on her knees with her mouth open". Lilly continued to laugh as Seras and Angela glared.

Seras glared at Lilly like she was mud, "And what exactly does that mean?" Seras yelled at the teen rolling around on the floor laughing. Lilly was spared for answering because Pip and the rest of his crew marched in.

Pip glared, "Give us back the money" he demanded to cries of encouragement.

Lilly stoped laughing and stood up, "You guys are no fun," she took the fifty dollar note out of her cleavage and handed it back to Pip. She walked out and smiling mischievously.

Alucard turned to walk through the wall but Angela's voice held him back, "Alucard, please find Lilly and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. I know your bound to Integra's family, so please make sure Lilly doesn't cause more mischief".

Alucard turned and gave a mock bow, "As you wish my master". With that he disappeared through the wall as Angela and Seras exchanged glances.

(Meanwhile)

Lilly sat on a couch and searched her pockets, "Bloody hell where is it?" she said to herself, agitated about not finding what she was looking for.

A voice came from the shadows, "You know, you're more like Integra than you think".

Lilly stopped searching and glared, "In what way do you mean?" she asked rasing an eyebrow in a truly confused manner.

Alucard walked out of the shadows holding a packet of cigarettes, "Are these yours?" he asked grinning.

Lilly laughed, "Interesting, you're the only person I've met that knows I smoke, without actually seeing the cigarettes smoked. I have to applaud you for that. By the way, how did you know?" She took a step forward and attempted to take the cigarettes from the vampire.

Alucard smiled and moved his hand so that Lilly couldn't reach her prize, "You reek of these, so I'm not going to give you these so easily. I have a price in mind, though". He smiled and listened to the sound of Lilly's heart beat. That was always his price; blood.

Lilly grinned evilly and said, "I don't care, I can always get more. Plus it's not like I'm addicted".

Knowing she was lying Alucard took a cigarette and asked, "Got a lighter". Lilly smiled and lit the cigarette. Alucard smiled and Lilly pulled on his wrist and lowered the cigarette to her height for a drag.

She exhaled the smoke and smiled, "Thanks for holding my cig for me". She laughed evilly and left Alucard stunned. This was the first time, he'd lost any game to a Hellsing. He smiled at Lilly's courage, which was far more than that of her sister.

Alucard handed the cigarette over to Lilly, "Take it," he said.

Lilly grinned evil, "Nope, you hold it. It's hard to draw with one hand so you can hold my cig while I draw. Also you'll be the one in trouble if they come here". Lilly laughed and took out her drawing materials from the bag slung over her shoulder. She turned a page in her sketch book and began to shade the newly drawn sketch.

Alucard glanced over her shoulder and looked at the picture; of Seras in a Barbie doll box thingy, "Why is Police girl in a box?" he asked confused.

Lilly put her hand on his wrist again and pulled the cigarette in his hand, into her mouth, "Because, she's a Vampire Barbie" said Lilly exhaling smoke, "All Barbie's come in a pretty pink box, stereotypical shit, if you ask me!" Lilly finished sourly. "I'll show you my other pictures, because I choose to be the arrogant chick that wants everyone to appreciate her manga art".

Alucard glanced at the change of emotion from Lilly, "Fine," he said, "But can you at least hold your own cigarette?"

Lilly glared, "No". She began flipping through her sketch book. In there were pictures of friends looking like super villains, her sister looking really bad and some random manga pictures. "I like this one," Lilly said flipping to a page where there was a small manga comic. "It reads from right to left".

The comic had a girl who was very popular in the background, she said, "I'm so funny and popular!" Then the girl in the front got a good idea. She took a can of Dr Peper and shook it up, muttering "That bitch will get whats coming to her" then she yelled "Ew Dr Peper". The popular girl rushed over and took the drink. She opened it and was soaked in the fizzy drink.

Alucard glanced over it and smiled, "Interesting how the fizzy drink covered girl resemble your sister and the one getting her revenge resembles you". He turned to Lilly to see her response.

She grinned and put on a documentary person like accent, "Yes interesting indeed. Marvellous, isn't it". She took another drag on the cigarette and flicked the butt out of Alucard's hand. "Can you draw?"

Alucard shrugged, "It's been a long time since I tried".

Lilly held out a pencil and said, "Draw someone and I'll judge them, just like god". Then Lilly let out an evil laugh as Alucard shrugged and started to draw. Lilly looked over his shoulder, "The eyes are good, but you really can't draw realistically".

Alucard glanced at Lilly, "What do you mean realistically, you're pictures have the strange eyes and look weird".

Lilly glanced back, "I mean realistic as your chick is flat! She had no bust!"

Alucard gave a strange sideways glance at Lilly and admitted, "I didn't think of drawing one".

Lilly sighed, "Do I really have to yell at you. All manga chicks have got to have big boobs and their butts have to be huge! Do you not understand! All anime chick need to have huge tits and fat butts!" She picked up a ruler and began to whack it on the table, "DO- YOU- NOT- UN- DER- STAND!" She yelled at Alucard, whacking the ruler on the table violently. "Think about Police girl! I mean, try to draw her! She's got a rack!"

Alucard couldn't hold his laughter anymore, he burst out laughing and started rolling around on the floor, "You truly resemble Integra," he said between laughter, "Yes, especially when you yell".

A cold voice cut into their conversation, "Whats this about me?" Seras stood at the top of the stairs.

Lilly put her hand over her mouth, "Ummmm...yeah. Wheres Angela?" she asked.

Seras pouted, "she went to bed a few hours before. I came here to say that the sun is rising soon," She glared at Alucard who was still laughing, but not as hard.

Alucard finally stopped his chortle and said, "Well good night Master. You'll be needing sleep," he addressed Lilly and secretly handed her the cigarettes back.

Lilly smiled and hid the cigarettes in her closed hand, "Yeah, night." she said and ran to her room. She opened the door and burst out laughing. "Man that chick needs a chill pill! That Alucard guy is hot though, I won against him, so now teh hot vampire guy must applaud teh manga-ka chick" she mused to herself as she got her diary out and wrote what she had just said in it.

**A/N **w00t another chapter!!! When Lilly was shouting at Alucard about the manga chicks have huge racks and big butts, is something Naruko yelled at me. I got a dog now! He called Felix and is my personal Angel of Death! I've also bought a book on how to draw manga, so now Naruko need not yell at me.


	4. Things that make you go huh, wtf?

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG, I guess. I might change it later.

**Paring: **Still haven't made one, I shall now go and hang my head in shame

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing, if I did I'd be stinking rich!!!

**A/N **Yay, chapter four. I got my how to draw manga book. Damn I've improved. Wow! I've now also got the fourth Hellsing. OMG Schrodinger is so adorable. He is the cutest little werewolf ever!

**Dedication: **This story is dedicated to Naruko and Multi colour, who yell at me and criticise my pictures. It's actually helping, but then again I am a complete and utter nut, that hums the circus song at tennis.

Chapter four: Things that make you go huh, wtf?

Angela awoke to find it was already evening, giving a yawn she rolled out of bed and started to dress. As usual Walter came into her room and left her breakfast there. She accepted it, still tired. "I'm becoming more and more like Lilly," she said yawning again.

Walter looked at her and asked, "Why would you say that?"

Angela smiled, "I'm starting to like vampires, I'm staying up late into the night and I've become so bored that I've been reading Lilly's stupid books," she went back to eating as Walter left. "Now what am I to do?" she mused to herself. After finishing eating she opened one of her bags and took out her own CD player. Putting a pop song on repeat she lay back and watched the ceiling.

(Later in Lilly's room)

Lilly tossed and turned in her sleep, "No, keep the furry animals at bay. Ack no!" she sat up from her dream panting. Wiping her forehead she heard a knock on the door. "Eeeeep, the furry cute things have come back to haunt me," with that comment she walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey Walter!" she said taking a food tray from him.

"Evening, Miss Lilly. I was told to inform you that Alucard is wake, by Miss Angela," he said, handing her the food tray, which she put on her bed and began to pig out.

Stuffing her face, she turned to Walter, "Don' cuall 'er Miz Angala, cuall 'er Barby," she said though a mouthful of food. She then began to laugh as Walter turned and left. Finishing her food, she walked out of her room to find Alucard.

Halfway down the corridor she heard a familiar voice, "Hello master are you going back to yell at me again," Alucard fazed out of a wall in front of Lilly. He was wearing a grin.

She gave a grin and reached into her bag, "Well duh!" she answered and holding her ruler high like a sword marched them into where they had been drawing before. "Where was I? Oh yeah! DO YOU NOT UN DER STAND! All manga chicks need huge hips and big busts! WHY? BECAUSE IT LOOKS MORE NATURAL! THEY MUST BE SLUTTY, WITH HUGE BOOBS AND BIG-" At that moment Angela and Seras walked in.

Seras gave her a strange glance and Angela asked, "Lilly, why are you teaching him how to draw?"

Seras glanced at Lilly then to Alucard and finally to Angela, "Wait, was all this yelling about teaching him how to draw. Then why was she telling him to give them bigger...ummmmm-"

"Busts?" suggest Alucard.

"Boobs?" suggested Angela.

"Tits!" yelled Lilly and everyone stared at her. She blushed bright red as everyone stared at her, standing on the table, ruler in hand. "Awkward silence, I'll just be going .... now," she giggled psychotically and ran out of the room. Alucard sighed and walked after her.

(Meanwhile in Integra's office)

Walter put his tray down and handed Integra some tea. She nodded and began on more paperwork. "Sir Integra, have you seen the way Lilly and Angela have taken a shine to the vampires. It's nice that Seras has someone to talk to and Alucard hasn't visited you since they got here".

Integra thought for a moment and said, "It is nice not to be bothered by the vampires, but I really don't trust Alucard to behave."

Walter picked up the now empty tray, "On the contrary Lilly seems to be controlling him. I heard her yelling at him yesterday; I'm not sure what they were talking about, but I'm sure he won't do it again". With that he turned and walked out of her office.

He closed the door and heard a familiar voice yell, "Walter!" Lilly ran up to him, rather hurriedly. A panicked expression sat on her face.

"What is it?" he asked, hoping that Alucard hadn't done something to scare her.

She smiled, "Hi!" then she turned back and saw Alucard, "Oi, come here!" she yelled and he shrugged and walked towards her.

Walter, relieved, smiled and said, "Well if you don't need me I guess I'll be going".

Lilly held him back, "No stay here. I wanna see something," then she yelled to Alucard, "Walk slowly!" then she began to hum "here comes the bride" (a/n it that song they play at weddings).

Walter gave her a strange look. "I've got to get going".

Lilly pouted, "Stay, I need to see something," she finished humming and said, "Alucard, Walter hold hands" they did as they glanced at her oddly. "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU VAMPIRE AND BUTLER!" she yelled and then fell down in a fit of giggles. They exchanged glances and looked at the teen rolling around the floor laughing.

"Who making all this noise?" Integra called out opening to door to her office. She looked at them and asked, "What is all this about?"

Alucard shrugged, "It seems, we've just been pronounced a vampire and butler".

Integra gave them both an estranged glance, "And how does that explain you holding hands?" they both retracted their hands, somewhat awkwardly.

Lilly managed to stop her giggle fit and stand up, "I haven't finished yet. Hold hands again. Ok, now where was I? Oh yeah! I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU VAMPIRE AND BUTLER! YOU MAY NOW KISS EACH OTHER!" then she burst into another fit of laughter. Both the vampire and butler retracted their hands and look at each other awkwardly.

"Oh god, not this again!" said Angela walking down the corridor to see what Lilly had said, "Has she been pronouncing people like married, again?" Seras stepped over Lilly with Angela and they both walked to Walter's side. "Don't ask, she's just weird".

Lilly stopped giggling and yawned, "Well I'm tired, I'll be going to bed now". With that she walked away.

Angela and Seras sighed, "See you tomorrow". With that they all walked their separate ways.

**A/N **Don't ask about this chapter, I don't know. It was just weird for the sake of weird. It's based on something stupid I made up in my head, but then again I'm a weirdo. And now a weirdo that can draw. Be afraid be very afraid!!! Ghwahahahahahaha!!! Anderson's laugh, I like his shoes, he has the same shoes as Alucard. I've got an idea for the next chapter, but I wants more reviews!


	5. Ice skating

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG and I'll keep it that way.

**Paring: **I have had so much time to think of one but my brain has shut down.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing, but I do own the car game (don't ask, just read). I don't own Sailor Moon, but I must admit, I watch it. And I don't own Mike. He's actually a friend over the internet. I don't own the St Kilda joke. Where I live St Kilda is known for its prostitutes.

**A/N **Cool reviews. To tell the truth I've only met two pairs of twins before. One pair were boys and were exactly the same and the other pair were completely different. Awesome.

**Dedication: **This is dedicated to Multi Colour and Naruko. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MULTI COLOUR!!! WH00T!!!!!

Chapter five: Ice skating

Angela awoke to the sound of knocking on her door. 'It's probably just Walter,' she thought rolling over to one side. Yawning she stood up and walked over to the door. "Hey W-" she started, but stoped when she saw Lilly standing in front of her. "Lilly what the hell are you doing?" she hissed.

Lilly giggled, "I got insomnia! Plus the sun's going to go down in an hour or so, I' here to ask why your up so late,"

Angela crossed her arms and glared at her twin, "How the hell can you _get _insomnia?"

Lilly smiled "Simple" she giggled and pulled an empty Pepsi bottle from behind her back. "I can't believe I drank all this crap! Good thing I kept it under my bed!"

"Miss Angela, Miss Lilly. Good, you're both awake," a voice behind Lilly said as Walter approached, two trays in hand. "I'm here to inform you that today I have organized a trip for you two, Seras, Alucard (by Lilly's request) and Pip to go ice skating. A car shall you up in two hours and Alucard will meet you two there".

Lilly punched a fist in the air, "Oh yeah! Teh manga-ka chick shall rule all!" she yelled and started doing her own little dance. "I love ice skating! Usagi taught me how to!"

Angela took her tray from Walter and turned to her dancing twin, "Who's Usagi?"

Lilly giggled and answered, "Sailor Moon. You know. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one called Sailor Moon. She will never turn her back on her friends, she is always there to defend-"

Having enough Angela shut the door in Lilly's face, "Oh my god, she's annoying!"

Walter smiled, "Here's your tray Miss Lilly," with that he handed her the tray and walked away.

(Meanwhile inside Angela's room)

She looked at her clothes, trying on clothes and when they didn't look right, throwing them on the floor. "Maybe this top and this... nah, it makes my butt look big," she threw the skirt on the floor.

(Later in Lilly's room)

Lilly had finished getting dressed and the effects of the Pepsi was starting to wear of. She wasn't as hyper, hearing her name being called she grabbed a coat and ran downstairs. "You took your time" Angela hissed. Lilly giggled and followed the group outside, where a car was waiting for them. Angela slipped into the front seat, while (from left to right) Lilly, Pip and Seras got into the back.

Reaching behind her to get a manga book out of her bag, Lilly's hand found that she left her bag in her room, "I haven't got my bag, what am I supposed to do during this car trip?" she whined.

Angela ignored her and flicked on the radio, "I love this song!" she and Seras shouted as techno beat filled the car. Angela and Seras began to bounce up and down with the beat of the music. The car began to move and Lilly gazed longingly back to the mansion.

Then an evil grin overtook her face, "Pip, lets play a game," she said turning to him.

He gazed at her, still not trusting her for the prank she played on the geese before, "What kind of game?"

She smiled, "It's simple. When we see a red car we punch each other really hard on the shoulder and go red car. If we see a post box, we poke each other and go poke box. And if we see a truck, we point like we're on drugs and go Truuuuuck. It's fun".

Pip shrugged, "Sure. Whats the name of this game, anyway?"

Lilly smiled, "It's called Lets-bash-the-crap-outta-each-other-for-no-reason-what-so-ever," she said quickly. Angela sighed and turned up the radio. It was going to be a very long trip. "Red car," she punched Pip, on the arm.

He winced, "I wasn't- red car!" he punched her.

Seras moved away from Pip and Lilly, "Just great, there's a car dealer up ahead,"

(One long road trip later)

Lilly slid out of the car, grin plastered to her face and one hand holding her bruised shoulder. Pip got out next holding his bruised shoulder and wincing. Seras got out, looking like she didn't want to know them. Angela slid out of the car next, hoping that things would improve once they went inside.

Lilly turned to Pip, "Now wasn't that fun?"

Seras winced, "No, sitting in a car with you two is painful. Hmph,"

"What was painful, Police girl?" a voice asked out of thin air and a pair of orange tinted glasses appeared. Seras sighed and Lilly grinned, "Walter told me you called Master," he said addressing Lilly.

Lilly smiled, "Come. You've gotta come ice skating with us, or else I'll sell your glasses on ebay," with that she turned and walked inside the ice skating building. They followed her into the cold building, where many people were ice skating and chatting. "Whoa, Barbie, check this out. It has a rink and everything! Damn, this totally rocks".

Angela glared, "Don't call me Barbie!" Lilly paid no attention and walked over to get her ice skating shoes. The girls tied their shoes as Alucard and Pip merely watched.

Seras looked at Alucard and Pip, "Aren't you going ice skating," they both shook their head. She stood up and watched as Angela picked herself of the ground and began to skate around the rink, slowly, "Hey wait for me!" she quickly skated over to the teen.

By now Lilly had finished putting on her skates, then stood up and promptly fell down, "I thought you said you were good at skating," teased Angela skating around her twin, backwards.

Lilly smiled and shook her head, "I said Usagi taught me how and she can't skate without Tuxedo Mask," she said. She leaned on a rink wall and pulled herself up. "And here he comes now". A boy about Lilly's age skated up to her. He was handsome in a dark way, his black hair was short and he had dark green eyes. He wore a black jacket and black spray painted jeans.

He held out a hand, "So we finally meet Lilly".

She took his hand and smiled at him, "Hey Mike, I knew you lived in this part of England, but I never knew you were this close".

Angela skated up to the couple, with Seras following, "Ah, so this is the all famous Mike. I'm Angela".

Mike looked from her to Lilly, he smiled, "You must be mistaken, St Kilda is that way," he pointed to a random direction. Lilly burst out laughing and Angela looked taken back. She turned and skated away, her nose in the air. Lilly smiled and took Mike over to meet Alucard and Pip.

**A/N **This chapter is short, because I have school now. Sayonara!


	6. Gothika vs Josephine

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG, it's not going to change

**Paring: **I've got one, but it's going to be in later chapters. You won't suspect it, so I'm going to give clue next chapters.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I could own Hellsing, but I don't. I don't own a series of unfortunate events. I have only read up to the carnivorous carnival.

**A/N **Wh00t, I'm still here. True I'm crap at writing and all my retarded fanart, but.... Meh. I love to write and draw, so you can't get rid of me that easily ::Sticks tongue out at the audience:: Tehe. I'm really immature. XD

**Dedication: **For Naruko and Multi colour. I wish you two were dead, so I could write a series of unfortunate events about orphan.... Wait thats not very nice. ::tear:: I'm evil!

Chapter six: Gothika vs Josephine

Mike walked out of the building and glanced at his watch for a few minutes. He paced down the road, taking a cigarette out of his back pocket and lighting it with a black lighter. Taking a drag on the cigarette he paced down the road, checking his watch.

"Shit I'm late," he muttered. A car horn blared and he jumped back as a black Cadillac pulled up to his side. The door opened and a light shone into his eyes. Unable to see he was unable to struggle as arms grabbed him and pulled him into the car. The door shut with a snap and the car drove of.

The bright light shone in his eyes, making him wince, "Now Mike, vhat do you know about Hellsing?" asked a heavy German accented voice.

(Later in the Hellsing car)

"Red car!" yelled Lilly punching Pip in the arm.

"Red car!" he replied as another car went past them.

Angela bashed her head into the dashboard, "For god sakes Lilly. Please stop. I'll pretend I like manga, I'll listen your music with you, I'll even sing in French, wearing one of those maid suits. But please, just stop!" Angela moaned. Seras had seated herself as far away from the Lilly and Pip.

Lilly smiled evilly, "French you say".

"Red car!"

Lilly looked around, "Where? Red car". Angela sighed and gave up; Lilly was too hard to deal with.

Pip smiled, "Red car!"

Lilly grimaced as she was hit, "Lets not play this anymore," she said in a bored tone. She reclined back to her seat and gazed at the ceiling with a sad look on her face.

Surprised by the change of emotion, Pip sighed and asked, "So what do we do now?"

Lilly sighed, "I dunno. I'm gunna think about my death".

Angela smiled, as everyone glanced at the not so cheery, anymore, Lilly "Hey Gothika long time no see. I was starting to miss you, Weird Lilly was being weird again".

Lilly sighed and closed her eyes, "You do know that this personality change is something that happens to you too?"

Seras glanced from Lilly to Angela, who answered, "No it doesn't".

Lilly sighed and opened her eyes, "What happens when you put on your necklace. How is it that you can't remember anything when you have it on and everyone, all of a sudden, call you Josephine. How is it that they think you're smart too. How is it that I have met Josephine. It's that spell that Wiccan chick cast on Amber when she was pregnant," carefully see leaned forwards and talked to her twin.

Angela shook her head, "Oh my god Gothika, one stop calling mum "Amber" and two that has never happened! I'll show you," she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small silver star on a cord of black wire. The necklace gleamed of all the lights they passed. Putting the necklace on she started "See there is nothin-" she stopped and then looked around the car.

Lilly smiled, "Josephine long time no see."

Angela, or Josephine, turned to Lilly, "Hello Gothika. Did you really try to make Angela believe you, again? You've been trying, she an embarrassment to all blondes and won't listen to you".

Lilly sighed, "I knew that,"

Seras and Pip looked at them, confused, by what had just happened, "So you're Angela and you're also Josephine?" Pip asked.

Angela sighed, "Josephine would have normal been part of my character if not for the spell. So now I am a completely different character that must share her body. Well... It was nice meeting you all. Goodbye," she finished and took of her necklace. "See I told you that Josefine doesn't exist".

Seras was amazed, "It's Josephine and she is real" she said and Pip nodded.

"No she's-" she started but stopped. Everyone watched, thinking she was going to turn into Josephine again, but she just said "We've stopped". They got out and walked to their rooms.

**A/N **I like the cliffy at the start. Mike reappears later..... I like Mike. He worships me. Don't ask why. Spoilers for later chapters, but I'll make them meet Millennium and maybe Iscariot. You're honesty going to guess what the pairing is. I'm soo brilliant. Anyway this chapter is just used for to show Gothika and Josephine, who show up later in the story.... and the Wiccan chick was me. Bwahahaha. Well actually it wasn't. Tehe. XD


	7. Are you afraid of spiders?

**Author:** Toxic Loser

**Title:** Double trouble

**Summery:** Integra has to decide on an heiress to Hellsing. Her decision is limited to the only family members that are under 18, which are the twins; Lilly and Angela. How is she related to them? Will the Hellsing vampires favourites become the heir? Read to find out.

**Rating:** PG.... still

**Paring: **You'll never guess! Bwahahaha. Its someone who you won't expect to get a partner. What a stingy clue!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hellsing, Dracula or Darren Shan (all vampire books) and thats why I'm so poor! I don't own the term Haruko guitar, it's a term about the guitar of the character Haruko, from FLCL.

**A/N **Ummm, yeah. Hello, I'm back to drown your brain in weirdness.... again. I have another story out to. Called Nein Danke means no thanks. I wrote it in English. I've been writing allot. I started a drabble, before but that drabble has expanded into a seven page story. I love writing, mostly about vampires. I really don't know why I like to write so much, because I'm that good at it.

**Dedication: **For Naruko and Multi colour, the bitches who are making me buy Xmas presents, when I don't believe in the holiday.

Chapter seven: Are you afraid of spiders?

Angela woke looking at the ceiling. It was dark in her room, so she went to open the window. It didn't do any good, because she then realised that the sun had already set.

"Shit," she gasped and threw on some clothes, before she ran downstairs. She turned a corner and ran into someone one. "Oh my god, I'm like so sorry".

The person smiled and replied, "It's about time, Angela".

Angela groaned, "I'm so sorry, Seras. I just woke up and yeah," she paused and looked around. "It's quiet. Too quiet. Where's Lilly?"

Seras shrugged, "I don't know. I think she's drawing again".

Angela shook her head, "I doubt it. If she was drawing we would have heard it. Lets investigate". She and Seras crept into the living room. They looked around to find a wall of books surrounding the couch. "Aha!" Angela shouted pointing at the back of Lilly's head, which was visible over the wall of books.

Lilly turned, "Aha, what?" she asked.

"You're plotting something!" Angela shouted.

Lilly rolled her eyes, "Yes, I'm plotting to read in silence," she answered sarcastically.

Seras stared at Lilly's book, "What are you reading?"

"Dracula," she answered. "Walter lent it to me, so I lent him Darren Shan."

"I doubt thats all your doing," accused Angela. "From you've told me of those stupid Darren Shan books, is there's a dude that becomes a vampire. Then he finds a spider and sets it free in a mountain. They all get happy and make him a prince, so he can kill some guy that holds a spatular. It doesn't seem like a very good book. It doesn't seem like an actual book, at all".

Lilly grinned, "Madame Octa's behind you," she said and gave a laugh.

Seras and Angela exchanged glances, "What exactly is a Madame Octa?" asked Seras.

Angela turned and saw a giant spider, "SPIDER!" she shrieked and jumped into Seras arms. Seras took one look at the spider, shrieked and dropped Angela. In a matter of minutes, both girls had jumped up on the table and Lilly was laughing her head off.

"Whats going on here?" asked Alucard, appearing from a wall.

Seras and Angela blushed and answered, "There was a giant spider".

Lilly looked up from her book and smiled, "We'll save you damsels in distress from the evil spider. You're death shall be avenged". Then she burst out in her strange laughter. "Come on Alucard we're going to kill that horrible spider. I'm going to get some stuff from my room, meet me back here and find me a Haruko guitar, well actually, any guitar will do".

Alucard nodded and disappeared.

(Ten minutes later)

Lilly sat on the couch, holding a can of fly spray and a baseball cap. Alucard appeared and held a guitar out for her.

Lilly took it and observed it, "Where did you get this?"

He smiled, "Captain Bernadette".

Lilly grinned wickedly and said, "Let the hunt begin. Lets go," she said and walked up the stair case to Integra's office. "There," she whispered, pointing to the spider hanging from the ceiling. "Oh, shit, Walter's there. Go over there and when I say shoot, shoot the spider. Then what I'll do is spray it with fly spray and put it into my cap, until we find a real coffin for it."

Walter noticed Lilly whispering to Alucard and waved, "Hello," then the spider dropped.

Lilly jumped, "Shoot," she yelled at Alucard who took out the casual and shot the spider. "I've got it!" Lilly yelled and ran to Walter. She raised the cap and caught the spider in it. "Aha! You stupid spider. You thought you could defeat me!"

Walter glanced from Lilly to Alucard and said, "Why exactly were you hunting a spider?"

Before Alucard could answer, Lilly handed him the spider, "Be right back," with that she ran to her room and came back with a black shoe box. She took the spider and put it into the box. Closing the lid, she took a whiteout pen and wrote on the lid of the shoebox; 'the bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me'.

Walter and Alucard took one look at the box and had to stifle their laughter, "Are we going to keep this in the basement, as well?" asked Walter.

Lilly shook her head, "Madame Octa deserves a proper funeral. This is where the guitar comes in and since I can't play death march I'll play another song," Lilly said, and started to strum the guitar.

"Isn't it time for you to go to sleep?" Seras voice was heard coming from the stairs.

"Yeah," replied Angela.

Lilly heard their voices and decided, "You can bury it if you want, I'm going to sleep, bye." With that Lilly ran up to her room.

**A/N **Crappy ending. If you don't know why Pip has a guitar, read the manga. It's got a pic of him and a guitar somewhere. I like Pip. He's kewl... and French.


End file.
